Daytime Stargazing and Utter Lunacy
by rosesbymidnight
Summary: Victoire is pregnant. With twins! Teddy is yet to find out. What happens when he does? Please R&R!


Hello there, here is a humorous one-shot about Teddy and Victoire. Many thanks to laoibhseferry for the collaboration and beta. Please review.  
Many thanks and marshmallows,  
rosesbymidmight

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Daytime Stargazing and Utter Lunacy

There was a small cottage near Dorset. A seaside cottage, here dwelded the twenty- two year old couple Victoire Weasley and Edward (Teddy) Lupin.

Teddy was currently at his job, working with Harry as an assistant auror. However his fiancee Victoire was bent over the toilet set in their bedroom throwing up her pasta salad she had eaten for lunch.

3 weeks ago she had found out that she was two months pregnant with twins, and of course they were fathered by Teddy. She hadn't ever been with anyone besides Teddy sexually, she had dated a few boys in 3rd year after opting for her one true love in 4th year, the dashing prince Mr Teddy Lupin. From then, they had been inseparable and showed eachother how much they cared every waking minute. Some would say that Hogwarts was relieved when the two graduated, however then their shoes were filled by the forbidden couple Rose Weasley and Scorpius. But that is a whole different story.

Presently, Victoire continued emptying her stomach until she heard the front door open. Teddy skipped in through the front door holding his briefcase after a day of imprisoning a whopping two Death eaters.

Victoire panicked when she heard the door open considering she had yet to tell him. Even though she already had a bump he didn't realise she was pregnant and she didn't want him to find out like this.

"Victoire, I'm home" Teddy shouted up the stairs.

She tried to answer but instead gagged again and continued getting sick.

"Baby, are you ok?" asked Teddy as he heard her throwing up and bounded up the stairs to the bathroom. He stood by the door attentively waiting for her.

Once she finally finished, she sat back her face on the bath to cool down her cheeks.

"Yeah" she said quietly "I'm fine"

He knocked on the door "Victoire, do you want me to call a doctor?" he asked through the door.

"No thanks I'm fine" she said as she stood up and opened the door to look at him.

"No offence. You look like crap" He said as he saw her pale complexion with a hint of green and her tired composure.

She nodded "I know" she said "Teddy we need to talk" she told him.

As soon as Teddy heard the 'talk' word he blanked. There was two reasons a girl would use that word: if she was breaking up with the guy or having an affair. However what dear Teddy didn't know was that it also held a third reason: she was pregnant.

"Ok, let's go into the bedroom" He said taking her by the hand and leading her to their bedroom. They sat on the bed facing eachother. Teddy kept his composure, although he was screaming bloody murder inside.

"Teddy have you noticed anything different about me lately?" she asked.

Teddy could list loads. He kept his gentleman status though and picked the less embarrassing ones.

"Your tired loads, you look like a zombie and you have weird cravi..." He stopped himself in realisation. He looked at her speechless with a big grin on his face.

_'She's not breaking up with me or having an affair. Such a shame though I would have loved to punch someone square in the face. Snap out of it! She's pregnant!'_

She nodded looked at him to see his reaction

"Are you?" He said getting off the bed and putting his hands on her stomach.

She nodded "I'm pregnant Teddy. With twins" She said.

"You're pregnant...Two?...Daddy...Mummy...Kids...Pregnant" He said as he sat back down again

"IM GOING TO BE A DAD!" He exclaimed.

She laughed at his excitement "You are" she said nodding.

"Were going to be parents" He said as he lifted her off the bed and spun her around.

"Teddy I'm too heavy" she protested laughing

"Sorry I got to be gentle now" He said giddy with excitement. He was like a kid in a sweet shop.

'Which sweet would I pick? Droobles. No. Bertie Bots. No. Firefudge. Hell yes!'

"Two Lupin babies!" He exclaimed again. He tried to calm himself down but kept getting increasingly hyper.

She laughed again "Yes two little babies and if they're as hyper as their father we'll have our work cut out for us" she grinned.

_'Good, he's not angry. However if he gets more hyper, were going to have an out of control Teddy on our hands'_

"I'm not hyper..Well maybe I am...Yep...I'd better sit down now" He said as he sat on the bed on his hands. He kept bobbing up and down and fidgeting.

She smiled "I'm glad you're happy" she said sitting beside him, putting a hand on his to calm him down.

"My beautiful soon to be wife carrying my children" He said kissing her on the cheek and wrapping his arms softly around her waist.

She hugged him gently "I thought you might catch on before I told you" she said.

"I'm a nitwit, Victoire. I didn't even get your flirting until 3 weeks into the dating. I'm not such an expert in 'catching on' " He said.

She laughed "You're not a nitwit you're just a tad slow and anyway when I asked you, you guessed straight away"

"Well then I have a slow brain that can't register properly" He said not noticing his hair had turned orange for excitement.

She grinned, a cheshire cat grin at him "Your hair is orange Teddy. I thought you might just think I was getting fat" she said.

"Your not fat. I didn't actually notice. You know, I think your lunatic of a fiancé needs to get some glasses. do you think Harry would lend me his?" He asked laughing.

She laughed as well "We could always try" she smiled "And I have gained quite a bit of weight look" she said raising her top a bit so her could see her slightly swollen stomach.

"Oh yeah, but that is because you have humans growing inside you. Did you know they start off looking like dinasours. Maybe we get dinosaur twins!" He joked.

She laughed "I thought they looked like tadpoles at first" she said.

"You know, I'm bloody hyper today. I haven't taken anything, I feel like I can fly. But I won't. Maybe, I will. Yep" He said rushing out of the room and fetching his broomstick.

Five minutes later...He was on his broomstick outside the bedroom. He was hanging on tight, there was a hedge below him and it wasn't exactly made of marshmallows.

"Hey Victoire, I'm flying!" He exclaimed at her through the window.

She stood by the window laughing "Teddy get inside you're so hyper you'll just fall and hurt yourself" she said. And boy was she right.

"Nope. I'm not coming down!" He said as he flew higher and ended falling off and falling into the hedge with a big thump.

"Bloody hell. Ow!" Teddy yelled in pain, still laughing.

Victoire heard the thump and rushed down the stairs and out of the door to find her soon to be husband, make that soon to be dead husband, lodged in the hedge.

"Are you okay? You pansy!" She asked as she stood on her tiptoes to access his condition.

"Technically, pansies cannot grow in hedges. I am a rose" He joked.

"Maybe I should have taken your advice. Were probably not going to have any more babies" He joked as he groaned.

"Here let me help you" she said levitating him from the hedge to the ground and then she rolled her eyes laughing "You're such an eejit"

"Correction, my love. I am le nitwit et uber hyper" He said as he collapsed onto the grass lawn.

"Come lay with me and look at the stars" He said looking up at her. He was indestructible.

Victoire looked at Teddy like he had gone mad. It was the middle of the afternoon in the summer.

"Theres no stars love its the daytime" she said but lay down beside him anyway.

"I think I need to be admitted into the St Mungo's mental wing" He said, laughing. "I feel sorry for our kids, your going to have 3 kids to handle, my sweet" He said as he held her hand.

"I'll live" she smiled "Or at least I hope I will" she said

"That's why I love you, ma cherie" He said in a mock French accent as he kissed her.

"I love you too, my nitwit" she smiled and kissed him back

"I really need to go to St Mungo's" He says groaning

"Why?" she asked concerned "Are you in that much pain?" she asked

"I think I threw my back out" He said now serious "I hope they don't put me on laughing gas. You'll never get me out of the hospital" He said as he coughed up a little blood.

"Ok that's it were going to St Mungo's" She said apperating them immediately.

2 hours later after various checks, yelling at doctors and you guessed it, a small amount of helium.

Teddy lay in the hospital bed with a needle in his arm and a hospital gown on. He had sprained his back and the blood was caused by a slight blockage in his throat which was cleared now.

James, Lily, Albus, Rose, Harry and Ginny had arrived after hearing from Victoire about Teddy's 'flying' accident. Ginny had laughed at the reason and the women were delighted by Victoire's pregnancy news.

Victoire sat by Teddy's bed. Teddy opened his eyes and groaned.

"I feel like I've been hit by a Hypogriff" He groaned.

"No just a hedge" laughed Victoire.

Teddy felt a cold breeze brush against his buttocks.

"Merlin, that's cold. Curse these hospital gowns, why must your ass hang out" He asked

Victoire just laughed. All of this, over two unborn babies. Wait till they get here.

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Thanks for reading, if you like please review. If you don't then review as well, criticism is encouraged not all people are naturals at this.  
Many hugs,  
rosesbymidnight


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